This is the good bit
by Yankee Hotel
Summary: Ford grabs his sister and her friends from planet Earth, and, to Ford's and dismay, his sister finds out about Ford's undying and powerful love for Arthur. FordArthur and maybe some others... !CHAPTER 7 UP!
1. The revamp begins

Disclaimer: Douglas Adams kicks an excessive amount of ass. He owns just about everything here.

Notes: Hey, guess what. I'm a nerd. Read on to see how.

More notes: PG-13 for slash (Arthur x Ford)

"Crap!" yelled Kay, whom you've never heard of before. She does, if fact, though, have something to do with the story. We'll talk about her later, though…

Ford tiptoed through the Heart Of Gold, in hopes of not waking anyone up. Unfortunately, someone who's name starts with an A and end with –rthur, happened to be already awake.

"Where are you going?" He asked, after the door politely expressed its gratitude for existing as a door.

"Who? I'm not going anywhere." Ford said, even though both of them knew whom Arthur was talking to and that Ford was going somewhere.

At this point, Arthur decided he didn't want to know.

"Ah, okay." He said as he turned back into his room.

Ford tiptoed on. All the way down to Zaphod's room.

Fenchurch asked what the hell Kay was doing, politely. Kay replied that her friend Jason is an idiot and this spaceship will not fly. Fenchurch asked if they were crazy, and told her that was NASA's job. Kay explained that Jason works for NASA, and should have gone to collage, though no one was really sure of that.

Zaphod was very angry at being awake. He was directing this anger at Ford, because, at the moment, he hated his semi-cousin.

"What the hell does you're ugly head want?" He asked, as politely as possible.

"I want Arthur." Ford said.

"… excuse me?"


	2. Man, did he need some tea

Notes: Hey you guys. I decided to continue it after I posted, so here we go. Also.. might change the rating because I used the Sh- word. :O I know…

Disclaimer: Douglas Adams is the overlord of comedy. Praise him.

"… I mean I want some money so I can buy a drink at the next planet with bars." Ford covered up his accident…which wasn't entirely an accident.

"I see… well, how much do you want… him?" Zaphod questioned on 'accident'.

"A lot… of money for drinks…" Ford said, again on 'accident'.

"Go away, Ford." Zaphod said and plopped back on the bed.

"Kay…" Ford trudged away.

Kay kicked her friend, Jason, who happened to work at NASA and who happened to be a total idiot, by her standards. Fenchurch tried to stop her from kicking the shit out of him, but failed.

Arthur woke up to the artificial daylight of the Heart Of Gold. Man did he need something. Something… that tasted a lot like tea…

He walked out of the room and down the hall, and into the bridge… or what he would think was the bridge. Control room, whatever… doesn't matter, he needed tea.

Step, step, step. Echo, echo, echo. Wait… what was that echoing?

Voices?

Whose voice?

… Ford?

He walked over to where it was coming from. Behind a door… he assumed it was Ford's room.

Who is that he's talking to?

Himself?

Hm…

Arthur decided he hang out for a bit to listen.

He probably would have been better off getting his tea.

Well, then. Next will be what he heard. I know you can't wait.


	3. Arthur is very Arthurlike

XD I'm really mean. Sorry it took so long.

Feel free to email me and get me to go faster. And I know it's really short. Again, feel free to complain.

So anyway, Arthur heard...

* * *

"No! You should have done it yourself!" 

'Kay...' Arthur though 'He should have done it himself?'

"Fine, I'll come get you, because you have retard friends!"

'Huh?' Ford lost Arthur there.

"Yes, I do want to say that to their and your face... es! That's why I'm on my way! Right now! ... What do you mean she doesn't want to come? She has to now, she signed up for it! Put her on the phone!"

"Oh! He's on the phone!" Arthur said, aloud... and quite loud.

The door to Ford's bedroom suddenly opened and Arthur was a bit startled by it.

"Yes, I am. Can I help you?" Ford said to Arthur, who seemed to be a bit shaken/confused... well, more so than usual.

"Uh... no... I'm fine."

"Is that why you on the ground and looking all... Arthur-like?"

"Um, yes, I suppose."

"Ah. Will you go grab Zaphod for me?"

"Uh... sure."

Arthur ran to go get Zaphod.

"Anyway, Kay. I'm on my way... and I'm picking up that friend of yours... uh, Feldspar on the way there." Ford said into the phone to his little sister.

"I swear if you had just given me a little longer..." Kay said into the phone to her big brother.

Ford hung up the phone.

* * *

XD No, she isn't a mary-sue... can't stand those things. I promise I won't take as long this time. 


	4. Feldspar is adorable

See! Told you I wouldn't take as long.

* * *

"Ford wants you." Arthur said, poking his head in Zaphod's room.

"Does he? Could you tell him I said tough luck, I'm busy."

"I think it's important."

"Tough luck, I'm busy."

"No, uh, I think it's really important."

Zaphod sighed, "Fine..."

Zaphod and Arthur walked down to Ford's room only to find that he wasn't there. So, they went to go look for him on the bridge.

"Hey, Ford. What up?" A screen lit up in front of Ford and on it was a boy. Well, not a boy exactly, but a teenage boy from the planet Dogotron 8. His hair was orange, and so was his tail... and his ears were dogs ears that were blue. Normally, the people of Dogotron would have matching ears and tails... but Feldspar had blue ones and that was that.

"Where are you?" Asked Ford.

"Me? Uh, home."

"I'm coming to get you."

"...okay ... HI ZAPHOD AND... THAT OTHER GUY!"

Ford whirled around and saw Zaphod waving to Feldspar, and Arthur looking Arthur-like.

"There you guys are! What took you so long?" Ford was annoyed that it took Arthur more than 3 minutes to get Zaphod over here. "Anyway, Feldspar, I'm going to come get you, then I'm going to go get my sister and her friend."

"Okay... do I have any choice at all?" Felspar asked.

"... No. Later." Ford hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Arthur whispered to Zaphod.

"Feldspar, duh."

"... Let me rephrase my question. What was that?"

"Oh, he's a Dogotronian."

"... I suppose you wouldn't want to explain what that was."

"No, not really. Hey, Ford!" Zaphod disregarded Arthur and moved his attention to Ford.

"What?"

"Where is your sister?"

"Earth."

"Wasn't it blown up?" Arthur could've sworn it had been.

"Don't ask questions, just sit down and enjoy the ride."


	5. Kay gets in the picture

Oh em gee, it's been 5 frillion years. Sorry.

The movie was okay? I loved the design for the Heart of Gold, though. Hated that love story drilled in there.

Disclaimer: Douglas Adams is Supreme Overlord of Everything Ever. Bow. Now.

* * *

Feldspar waltzed onto the bridge like he owned the place. Ford rolled his eyes and told Zaphod to set a course for Earth, because he knew Zaphod wouldn't like Feldspar's ditzy attitude.

Arthur sat in a chair, and wished he knew what was going on.

Feldspar took a seat right next to Arthur. Arthur was very very still. He wasn't sure how to handle this boy. Should he be scared? He didn't know, but he wasn't going to risk being wrong.

As if to make sure Arthur was really, really, really uncomfortable, Feldspar turned to Arthur and grinned a Ford Prefect grin.

"Hello! How are you this fine… uh, what time is it?"

"I… don't… uh, know." Arthur was cautious about his answer.

"Hm. Well, how are you, anyway?"

"F-Fine…"

"Well, good then. Ford! Where's Kay!"

Ford turned and looked at Feldspar. He was pretty dumb, but he knew he would keep his sister occupied. Not that he didn't like his sister, he did. It was just… well, he didn't want her meddling around with Arthur and him. As soon as she saw what was going on, she would have her 22-year-old, ginger-haired hands all over it.

"She's on Earth. And, hey! Look! There it is." Ford replied.

About ten minutes later, Kay was sitting in a chair on the bridge, watching Fenchurch, Arthur and Trillian play scrabble. She turned to see her brother and Zaphod talking… probably about alcohol or sex. Then she noticed something. Something in her brother's eyes. He tried to seewho or whathe was looking at, and he was staring at either Trillian, or that Arthur boy. She truly hoped it was Arthur, if only for the fun she could have.

* * *

Suckysuckysucky. S-okay, feel free to shoot me in the face. 


	6. That's pretty uncool

Look at me, I'm following through!

Disclaimer: I think you get it by now, yes? If you don't... consider tutoring.

* * *

"I'm thinking… that I want to play Scrabble." Ford thought to Zaphod.

"… Okay. Play Scrabble, then"

"No, I mean… wait, is my sister looking at us?" Zaphod looked over Ford's shoulder.

"Yes." He said

"Why'd you look! Now she knows I was asking!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Next time I won't answer your question."

Yes, she saw. She decided she would rather know where Feldspar is and make sure he isn't destroying anything. But first she would have to scare her brother.

"Okay, yes, I want to play Scrabble." Ford was a little irritated.

"Okay, then! Play Scrabble!" Zaphod was a little irritated, too. "Scrabble is pretty uncool, though…"

Ford heard Arthur laugh a little and the girls laughed too. "Arthur, god damn it, you-"

"HEY! Do you know where Feldspar is!" Key scared the shit out of both Zaphod and Ford.

"No… I don't…" Zaphod said, from the floor. The cold, uncool floor. He stood up quickly. "No! No! I don't know!" He decided it was pretty cool to be angry at Kay because she threw off his cool.

"Ford?" Kay grinned and looked sat her brother who would have been half way across the room if not for the wall in the way. He was against it, and for a brief second, he wondered if he looked like that when he smiled.

"… No… no I don't know." Ford looked at her and contemplated killing her.

"Ah, well then… sorry, then. Later!" She kept smiling as she almost skipped away in satisfaction.

"You know, that sister of yours is pretty smart." Zaphod got up after rethinking the situation and realizing that she had done that on purpose… and that was pretty cool. Not, though, cooler than him.

"What do you mean?" Ford was still pretty shocked.

"You know she did that on purpose, right?"

"Do you think she's on to me?"

About an hour later Arthur and Fenchurch were talking, unfortunately. Unfortunately for Ford and a little for Kay, anyway. For Arthur and Fenchurch it seemed to be pretty nice. But, seriously, who really cares about Fenchurch? (A/N: Sorry… heh, I'm not a fan.)

Kay hadn't found Feldspar, but she did find something else she liked. She listened in on Fenchurch and Arthur and they seemed to be hitting it off. What would her brother think of this?

She thought she'd find out.

* * *

Look at that, It's a little longer. Where's Feldspar, the lovable Dogatronian? We'll soon find out.

PS: Me and Fenchurch don't get along too well. She broke up my favorite couple! Argh!


	7. Intercoms are very useful

Just to say, Kay is actually talking in an English accent at this beginning part. It's hard to get that across on paper…

Or… on the computer screen, I guess…

I really regret not naming Kay Honda. That would have been funny.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. His, not mine, blah blah blah.

* * *

"AIE!" Feldspar was a bit startled to find Kay on his back.

"'Ello!" Kay grinned a Ford-Prefect grin, even though she thought it really should be called a Kay-Prefect grin. "'Ow're you! Wha are you doin'!"

"Why are you talking like monkey?" Feldspar made a face.

"Oy'm celebray-in monkey-boy and 'is new low-ver, Fenchurch!" Kay nearly screamed, to make sure EVERYONE on the within a 2 mile radius heard.

There was a silence.

Kay realized that she was in a hallway, and everyone else on the ship was absent, her brother included. 'Shit…'

She looked around and found what she was looking for.

"I SAID!" She yelled into the intercom, "OY'M CELEBRAY-IN MONKEY-BOY AND 'IS NEW LOVER, FENCHURCH!"

There was yet another silence as Kay and Feldspar waited, Kay for her brother to come running, and Feldspar for nothing in particular.

Sure enough, there were sounds of blue suede shoes running down the corridor.

Kay smiled a Kay-Prefect smile.

-------42-------

Arthur Dent didn't like that sound.

The sound of blue suede shoes.

No, that wasn't a nice sound.

Especially when accompanied by soft growls and little giggles.

Arthur had been in a pretty good mood, considering the new girl he had just met. Unfortunately, Kay decided that all had to end, because, well, she was bored.

Ford turned the corner to see a worried Arthur in the middle of a swig of tea. Ford wondered briefly where he got that, and dismissed it for an even bigger question.

Ford smiled.

Arthur backed up a bit.

"Where've you been?" Ford asked, tilting his head.

"Eh… over… there…?" Arthur pointed in the direction he thought he had come from. He was a little disoriented at this point, but he figured he there was a 50 chance he was right, considering there was only two directions he could have came from.

"… I see…" Ford said.

"… yeah…" Arthur said.

"Heh…" Kay said from behind the wall.

Then, unfortunately, Fenchurch walked in.

"'Ello!" She said.

Ford jumped.

-------42-------

"What's wrong with you?" Arthurasked about 10 minutes later.

'YOU'RE WRONG WITH ME, RETARD!' Ford thought, but all he could get out of his mouth was "Eh… well… er…"

"Heh…" Kay stifled her laugh.

* * *

For some reason, Ford tackling someone, anyone really, is just the best thing of any kind ever.

Ford/Arthur next! ((dances))


End file.
